#but struggled finding the right snippet to include and how to include it

[cerealboxlore]

(Megamindsupremacy here! Gotta send asks from main)

For your writers new year’s ask game: 🦄🦖🦷 !!!

Hi there! Sorry this took so long, I was figuring out what to say and include for the snippet I wanted to include! 🦄 Is there a new POV you'd like to try writing? : I haven't given this much thought before, but I'd think I'd enjoy this thing called "choose your own adventure" stories. Not sure if that counts as a POV, but, A choose your own adventure fic where you as the reader gets to choose how the story goes for you as you direct Billy AKA Captain Marvel through his decisions/adventures, sounds like fun! 🦖 Are there any other fandoms you wrote for in the past that you'd like to return to? : Definitely! The first fanfic I ever wrote was for Genshin Impact, and although I don't play the game anymore (due to my new phone not supporting the game), I'd love to return to writing for it! Especially now that I've gotten more practice. I also wrote a few fics for "The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System" and "Return of the Blossoming Blade"! 🦷 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it! : Oh my golly gosh goodness, yes. I have so many WIP fics where there are scenes that I dread to actually write, but I really want to include and need for the sake of the plot. They're not bad scenes; I'd rather read about them than write them, but because I want things to be a certain way, I have to be the one to make content to feed myself. For example, in the current WIP I'm writing at the moment, Billy Batson enters Middle School, eager to start a new chapter in his life with his best friend, Freddy Freeman, but is met with family reunions from unexpected places, along with dangers that threaten the lives of everyone around him. The first encounter Billy has with his uncle Ebeneezer, unexpectedly, after so long is undoubtedly one of the scenes I had the most trouble with, portraying Billy's fears rising to the surface in a panic attack that is written as accurately as possible in my words. I've had a personal experience similar to Billy's in this situation, so it's been a little hard to get through this scene, but it's one I want to include to show the seriousness of the effects of trauma in childhood. I wanted to include a snippet but apparently, that was too long to post :( I'll include it in a separate one and tag you in it!

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

no doubt ── s. jy (sneak peek!)

update: this fic's been posted! click here to read <3

↳ summary ── struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in you—one of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoil—torn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wants—and spoiler alert? it's you.

↳ pairing ── jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]

↳ genre ── idol!jake, friends to lovers!au || fluff, angst, crack

↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── hai everyone, the freaking turmoil & HOLD this fic has on me,,,has me writing til 8AM in the freaking morning because CLEARLY ─ i have unspoken issues . anyways here's a teaser of my recent hyperfixation that i'm sharing with the world. at the rate i'm writing this every night (& morning), it should be out soon (hopefully) :3 also this snippet i decided to include is my attempt at angst...i hope yall enjoy !

also send me an ask/comment if you'd like to be tagged !!! <3

snippet under the cut!!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

“Y/N.” 

His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago. You stop in your tracks, swallowing hard before turning around.  

Jake stands a few feet away, his usual easy confidence replaced by something raw, almost broken. He looks disheveled, his hands clenching at his sides as though they're the only thing anchoring him.  

“Can we talk?” he asks, his voice low but unsteady. 

You stomach twists, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"  

You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter. 

He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair.  

“I—I messed up tonight. I didn’t mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation.  

"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed.  

"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."  

“Well it definitely didn't feel that way,” your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt bubbling to the surface. “After everything you said—promised, everything we talked about…” 

"I know, I just—" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll shatter if he gets too close. "I was nervous." 

"It’s been so long, and I didn’t know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it right—to make it perfect—but instead, I just—" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest. 

You let out a hollow laugh, the sound foreign even to your own ears, “Well, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.” 

“Please,” he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. “Y/N, please don’t think I don’t care about you. I do. More than you know. I just—I don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear."  

You look at him, your eyes stinging with unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, “Then why was...why was she all over you tonight? Why didn’t you stop her?” 

He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, “It wasn’t what it looked like. I didn’t—I couldn’t—” 

“You couldn’t,” you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting deeper. “I should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?"  

Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens this mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at you—eyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right words—confirms everything you’re afraid of. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lips—the sound caught somewhere between a sigh of realization and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts you've tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you suddenly, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear you’ve ever had about this moment, about him. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true. 

"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want."  

"No, no—Y/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And it’s you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I said before—I meant it."  

His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see your tears finally spilling over.  

"You promised," you let out softly. "You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you hurt me anyways."  

"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one I care about."  

You shake your head again, the tears now freely slipping down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "I don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I wanted to, I really, really did. But tonight..."  

Jake’s face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. This was the first time seeing you in so long, and this sight of you—broken because of him—cuts deeper than he thought possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I—God, please. Please give me a chance.” 

You look at him—at the boy who's become your safe space —and all you feel is the ache in your heart.  

"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out a deep breath and take a step back. "I think I just need space."  

The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in face, "Y/N..." 

Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stay, to give him the chance he's begging for. But your head knows better. 

"I have to go," you murmur softly, turning away before the tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look back—to let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged.  

Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he sees you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say something—anything—but the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes.  

The hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating steps, a cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away.  

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

not my usual style of light-hearted crack...but sum of the other parts are still very rom-commy bc im sucker for dat shtuff :3

let me know if you'd like to be tagged !

<3, addie

[p0orbaby]

mary earps jealous fic please

reader jealous and mary reassures her or mary jealous and opposite

Watch Your Step

warnings: alcohol consumption, just zero lack of girl code, oblivious mary?

a/n: I wrote this in like an hour so don’t judge me if it’s shockingly bad

word count: 981

-

You’re not insecure.

You’re not.

You swear.

But as you watched a leggy blonde make Mary laugh, a twinge of jealousy pricked at you.

You tried to brush off your unease, but being wedged between Mary and the wall you couldn't help but overhear snippets of their conversation.

"Mary, you've got the best sense of humor," the girl exclaimed, her laughter loud over the music of the bar.

You bite your lip, feigning interest in your own surroundings. How the leather of the booth stuck to your skin. The bitter taste of your martini. Deep down, you knew Mary was just being friendly, but the irrational pangs of jealousy lingered.

Mary glanced over her shoulder to find you tracing your finger around the rim of your class. "Hey, love, come join in. We were just talking about the game last night”

Suppressing the knot in your stomach, you turned alight in your seat with a smile. "Yeah, it was intense”

The person, still oblivious to your internal struggle, continued their peacocking with Mary. "You should've seen her saves, absolutely incredible”

You nodded, forcing yourself to engage. "Hard not to miss them when you're part of her back line”

The blonde shoots you a quick glance, seemingly registering your presence for the first time. “Oh, you play too?”

“Yeah, I’m on the team,” you replied, your tone dry and blunt and not unnoticed by your girlfriend.

Mary caught the tension in your response and subtly shifted the conversation, attempting to include you more. “We’ve got quite the dynamic in defense. Keeps the goals at bay, right, love?”

You nodded, managing a tight smile, your eyes briefly locking with Mary’s in silent communication. The blonde, sensing the shift, excused herself to grab another round of drinks, leaving you alone with Mary in the dimly lit booth.

Mary turned towards you, concern etched on her face. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, all good. I just didn’t realise you were sharing your brilliant sense of humor with the whole bar”

“Hey, what’s really going on?”

Mary is far from stupid. And you’d been together far too long to think she’d get caught up in your lie.

You took a deep breath, appreciating Mary’s genuine concern. “Yeah, just… I guess I got all up in my own head for a moment. It’s silly, really”

She eyed you, unconvinced by your answer.

“You do realise she’s flirting with you, right?” You say.

Mary’s expression shifted, a combination of realisation and concern etched across her features. “You think so?”

Edit, Mary was far from stupid, sober.

“I’m going to pretend you’ve not noticed the way she looks at you because it’s dark in here, okay?”

If you had it your way, you’d get up and leave. But you knew better than to try and outmuscle your way past her.

“Baby”

“Don’t, Mary” you say, your throat tight with emotion as you train your gaze back onto your drink.

“Look at me, love” she instructs, a hand coming up to your chin to turn your head to her. Though your eyes don’t meet hers at first. “Y/N”

Your name rolled off her tongue, a soft plea in the dimly lit booth.

You give in and look at her when her thumb strokes the spot just above your cheek.

“I don’t like that people are fighting for your attention,” you admit. “They talk and talk like I’m not even here. It pisses me off”

Mary’s eyebrows raise, and she chuckles softly. “Well, sorry for being so damn popular. Didn’t realize it bothered you that much.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms petulantly. “It does bother me. A lot actually”

“Okay, okay,” Mary concedes, though her smirk tells you she’s still very much amused by the situation. “So, what’s the plan? Stay here and be grumpy, or should we find a place where it’s just us?”

“I don’t know” you sulk.

“No? Shall I decide?”

All you give her is a shrug.

She hums lightly as your lack of cooperation, her eyes sliding from you to her drink, wrapping her hand around the glass, and finishes the rest of it off in one large gulp.

“Home it is then” she says, sliding out of the booth and holding her hand out for you to take.

Though as soon as you’re upright, she doesn’t lead the way to the exit like you expect her to. She pulls your body flush against hers, curls a hand around the back of your neck and guides your lips to hers.

It was a dirty little thing. All tongue and teeth and the lingering taste of her gin martini. It caught you off guard enough that your hands stayed suspended by your sides, whilst hers grabbed at your waist and angled your head to give herself better access to you.

Only when she finally feels you melt against her is when she pulls away, wiping her mouth dry as she does.

“I’m yours. You’ll do well to remember that”

If she didn’t grab a hold of your hand again you’re sure you would’ve collapsed. Her words causing your legs to turn to jelly and your head to spin with something other than alcohol.

Mary doesn’t mess around pulling you towards the exit after that. Either she’d had enough of your tantrum, or she has plans for the two of you at home. Her reasoning didn’t matter in the end, when a figure stood out amongst the blurry bodies you were being dragged past.

It was quite poetic really. How time slowed as you locked eyes with her. The way her face was lit with the blue and red lights from the decorative neon signs littered around the bar, spotlighting the disdain she had for you.

Her scowl was returned with your triumphant smirk.

You weren’t insecure.

You just didn't like people coming after what was yours.

[dreamsteddie]

WIP Thursday??

I'm in a bit of a writing drought, not for lack of inspiration but for lack of time, so I thought I'd share a little snippet from my WIP for day one of @stmarchmm's March Mating Madness. The prompt is "Courting."

Thank you very much to @popmilky for creating the divider I am using

“Hey Buckley,” Eddie says sliding up to the girl where she’s packing up at the bleachers after practice. She gives him a scrutinizing look and clearly finds him lacking, squinting her eyes at him like he’s a little bug landed on her shoulder. Irritating and suspicious. Which, rude. “I was wondering if a fine lady like yourself would happen to know what one Steve Harrington might be hoping for in a courting” Robin clearly wasn’t expecting him to come right out and ask, her blue eyes going wide.

“What the fuck, Munson!” She crows, clearly embarrassed by his lack of tact.

“What!?” He fires back, not understanding what the big deal is. He wants to court Steve and Robin is the best source of information on how to go about it.

“You can’t just ask that, you doofus,” she hisses, lavender scent going smokey like brush fire.

“Why not? I want to court him, like, publicly. Everyone’s gonna know in a couple weeks anyway. Shouldn’t you be glad you’re the first to know?” He huffs. He knows it’s not exactly the done thing to go around telling people you’re going to court someone. You’re supposed to be delicate. Hint at it and build up little courting gifts and don’t look anyone in the eye. It’s dumb as hell and Eddie wants no part of it. Besides, so far as Eddie has seen, that method hasn’t worked on Steve anyway. Eddie may as well go about this in his own way, which includes getting insider information.

Still clearly not impressed, Robin says “You? You want to court Steve? Resident anti-conformist, jock-hating, Eddie Munson wants to court Steve Harrington. Why?” Her tone is clearly disbelieving, which, again, rude.

“Uh, I mean, have you seen him with those kids? He’s wicked hot with that whole mom thing he’s got going on.” At that, Robin gags. “And, I mean, I know he’s a jock but he’s also an Omega and he pretty much said fuck it to Hawkin’s High when he presented and refused to give up his position as captain. That was super fucking metal,” he says all earnest.

“And I like the way he smells, like a fresh cinnamon roll. And we shared an English class once and he asked me about the doodle of a Beholder I worked on instead of taking notes. And I know I’m not exactly a prime Alpha but I don’t think that really matters. At least not to me. I want to kiss him and make sweet love to him and have babies with him and -” Robin cuts him off with a hand over his mouth.

“Ok, I get it. You like him.” She says that, but she’s still looking at him like she can’t figure him out. “Alright…I don’t know if I like you Eddie but I’ll throw you a bone. Just one, got it? And if you fuck it up, I’m not helping you again.” She says, waiting for him to nod before removing her hand from his mouth.

Eddie takes a deep, overdramatic breath in like he’s just breached water. “Got it.”

Robin takes a deep breath of her own. “Steve’s been propositioned for courting 12 times since he presented and he’s only said yes to one. One-off dates not included.” She hasn’t stopped looking him straight in the eye, making sure he pays attention. “Nancy gave him a set of handwritten notes for history because she noticed he was struggling. All the other Alphas got him fancy jewelry, useless house stuff, and generic valentine's day crap.” With that, she gives him one last, long look before grabbing her trumpet and leaving, the sound of metal clanging under her feet following in her wake.

“Thanks, Buckey!” He calls out, waving his hand wildly at her retreating back. She ignores him.

Well, no matter.

He’s got a courting to plan.

[acourtofladydeath]

Hope Is A Fickle Thing

🎶 I've been keeping a seeeecreeeeet... 🎶

HELLO @yanny-77!! I have lied, schemed, and manipulated (with so much love) my way through the @acotargiftexchange to ensure I could deliver you the most perfectly curated fic possible. It was an absolute honor to be your Satan this gift exchange, and I hope you love this fic: an Empyrean angst inspired Azris calamity of errors featuring as much sword lore as I could wrap my head around. -Love, your Satan 😈🖤

Eris travels to the Night Court to surprise Azriel, hoping to sneak in a romantic rendezvous. Unfortunately, the night goes horribly awry. How many members of the Inner Circle will walk in on them? Guess we’ll find out.

***This fic takes place post HOFAS and includes spoilers for the Crescent City series.

***This fic contains direct quotes from Fourth Wing and Iron Flame woven in as parts of the plot. How many can you find?

Read a snippet below or start the full fic on AO3!

Running a hand through his hair to wrestle the short strands back into place, Eris let out a determined sigh. His steps echoed through the wide, empty halls deep within the Forest House as he set out toward his room. The day had been long and advisors more tedious than ever; pushing back against Eris’ attempts to prepare Autumn for his eventual reign.  Beron still sat atop the throne, High Lord in title, though his power waned. Each day Eris felt a new trickle join his amassing magic and he knew it would not be long before he’d need to make his move. All but one of his younger brothers stared at him with hungry eyes, anxious to steal what was rightfully his.  Pushing open his door, Eris tried to act unsurprised by what he found. His youngest brother lounged before the fire, long legs draped over the chair’s arm. Eris groaned internally, struggling to keep his eyes from rolling. He’d been hoping to unwind by himself for a moment, but no matter; he could prepare for what came next with or without Lucien there.  “Who let you in?” Eris asked, voice monotone in an attempt to disguise his disgruntled state.  Lucien scoffed, righting himself in the chair. “Why, I let myself in. You did get father to lift my banishment after the war.”  “Stop making me regret that.”

Continue reading on AO3.

Thank you to @suebswrites for being the absolute best spy and beta, and to @climbthemountain2020 for betaing and being the most supportive mod! Shout out to Vanth for connecting me with Suebs in the first place!

Let me know if you want on or off the taglist! @pippsmcgee @born-to-riot @chunkypossum @bubybubsters @queercontrarian @yanny-77 @fieldofdaisiies @iftheshoef1tz @secret-third-thing @jules-writes-stories @the-darkestminds @climbthemountain2020 @amalhe-kofee @molcat07

[mokkadere]

❝ Be Your Fix ❞ | Chapter One

A/N: I have too many ideas and too little time to write all of them. Sigh. Well, here you go - a small snippet of what could be yet another pretty long story. I'll probably break it down in snippets and one-shots displaying different scenarios + time jumps to experiment a little with this as well. Anyways, there are too few yandere doctor/psychologist/psychotherapist stories out there, so this is yet another contribution. :')

synopsis: yandere!psychologist (OC) keeps returning home to his lawyer!darling (OC) trying to cope with her mental struggles with alcohol instead of seeking his professional help. When will you learn?

this story includes the following themes: alcohol abuse + dependence, mental health struggles (intrusive thoughts, burnout, breakdowns, anxiety), manipulation, infantilization, obsessive behaviour / fixation, briefly mentioned self-harm

word count: 2.4k

Yandere!Psychologist Theo Reed who returned every evening from the ward to find his darling shivering against the warmest corner of the living room and clutching a bottle of wine.

You looked like such a mess with your unfocused gaze and helpless trembling, but at least he could call this mess his own. He'd never let you down and especially not now that you needed him this desperately.

With long strides, he walked up to you before sitting down on the floor and carefully scooping you into his arms. Even though the situation wasn’t exactly optimal, he loved keeping you close to him like this; he loved having you need him to make you whole again.

„Darling… You really have to stop doing this to yourself,“ he murmured into your ear as he slowly began to rock you back and forth, the steady rhythm stirring your mind awake. His hands - freezing from the December cold - soon found their way to yours, gently wrapping around them before taking away your liquid escape and putting it somewhere out of reach. You didn’t need cheap substitutes anymore, now that he was there to help.

He wanted to ground you. It’s been a long day, after all, and both of you deserved it. His softness slowly guided you back into reality, leaving this numb, hazy state that made you feel like you were hovering outside your body behind. „Come to me,“ he’d coo as he tucked you even closer into him, letting you listen to his heartbeat. You barely registered it but you felt his presence and that was enough for your body to find some respite from this self-induced numbness that now made your head spin. 

„H-Hey…“ you slurred as you nuzzled against his neck. Your voice had a certain rasp to it that usually wasn’t there. It seemed like this breakdown had done a number on you, leaving your throat sore. He made a mental note to make you some tea with honey. He’ll be your caretaker tonight.

„Hey, you,“ he mumbled into your ear before giving it a small peck, getting a small noise of satisfaction out of you. He lived for these noises. For them and for the way you squirmed in his arms when he did things to you. But he clearly couldn’t go there, not when you were so out of it, that is. Still, he couldn’t help but smile at your neediness, rewarding it with the kind of pets that always made your entire body tingle.

„I missed y-you…“ you whispered, your tone way too whiny to come out of your mouth on any other sober occasion but you couldn’t help it right now. If you weren’t so intoxicated, you would’ve died from embarrassment from how pathetic you sounded, but right now you were just too exhausted to care. You’ve been waiting for him for hours now, and you were quite literally desperate for him to do his magic and rearrange those broken parts that kept chipping time and time again off that usually so perfectly curated façade of yours.

„I can tell, baby. And I missed you too. Work is always so lonely because you’re not there. My mind constantly kept wandering to you, wondering if you were okay, if you were doing alright on your own… I wish you could’ve been there with me.“

He feels you nod against him, your nose tickling his neck. „H-How w-was work?“ you asked, barely able to string your question together. Every word was a struggle, but you liked struggling for him. Hearing his deep, calming voice in turn made it worth it to you.

„It was very busy, but also quite productive. Some of my patients are making great progress, actually, so I’m really proud of them. I’m sure you’d be proud of them too considering the fact that you were the one that negotiated in their favour in court.“

„Amalia? Reynolds?“

He nodded with a small smile. „But… what I’m way more interested in knowing is how your day went.“ At that he pulled away, letting his fingers tilt your chin up for him to look into your hazy eyes. His thumb rested on you lower lip for your hot breath to warm it. „Mind telling me what happened? Why are you sad again? I thought we agreed that you’d wait for me instead of drinking…“

You stammered countless slurred apologies as your eyes watered, telling him what you always did: that you were sorry, that you didn’t mean to go back on the promise, that you didn’t mean to disappoint him, that you’ll do better in the future, that you were sorry—

„I know you are, darling.“ His calm demeanour painted a stark contrast to the way words seemed to anxiously bubble out of you. „Let’s get you to bed where you can feel a bit more comfortable. That’s enough sitting on the cold, hard floor. You’ll get sick at this rate.“

You clung to him needily, your grip tight despite (or perhaps because of) how much the world was spinning.

Once he set you down on the plush blankets of your shared bed, he carefully cocooned you in them, wanting to make sure you were absolutely tended for while in this compromising state. He knew he’d done a good job when you hid a little further under the sheets, your eyes going half-lidded in comfortable satisfaction. 

You let a sleepy hum when you felt him hug your lower body, his head resting on your stomach - one of his favorite positions. It felt so nice to run your fingers through his silky brown locks while his hot breath caressed your sensitive skin. This soothing intimacy he managed to create between the two of you never failed to make you feel safe and cared for. It truly was the only thing that managed to quieten your constantly buzzing mind - it swirling with perpetual, unwanted thoughts.

„Talk to me, darling…“ he pressed once more. „What happened? Was it work?“

„No… ’s fine. I’m alright again… You’re here.“ While those words never failed to make Theo’s chest swell with this desperate need to protect you and to make sure you keep saying those words for years to come, he knew he should try digging deeper. You always did this, you always shot down any attempt at actually talking it out with him. Couldn’t you see how much that hurt him - to have all the necessary tools to help you in terms of knowledge of human psychology, but you refusing to let him in?

„Please… Just talk to me. I want to help you. I want you to be there for you.“ Theo kept quiet, hoping that perhaps the fact that you hated silence would make you open up more just to fill it. 

„I’m sorry…“ you whispered once more, making Theo sigh before he pulled himself up to spoon you, making a wave of warm tingles spread throughout your numb body. 

„I just wish you’d share with me. It breaks my heart to keep finding you trembling from nerves every evening, clutching those bottles. It’s… unlike the strong and confident woman I married.“ He hesitated saying that last sentence, knowing that you hated being compared to your old selves, the very thought of you having changed for the worse and having lost a perfectly good version of yourself along the way causing you anxiety.

For a long while you didn’t say anything and he figured you might’ve dozed off at this point. It certainly wasn’t the first time you did that. Wine made you sleepy quickly like that, and while he found it adorable, he found it equal parts frustrating. He was about to leave bed to make you some tea for when you inevitably woke up an hour later, but then you finally spoke up hesitantly: „I don’t know how to explain it without sounding absolutely unhinged…“

„Come on, try me,“ Theo countered, feeling hopeful.

„It’s like my brain is constantly screaming at me to do or not to do something - constantly buzzing, nagging, always making me so anxious that my entire body starts t-to shake,“ you whispered, those long unsaid words finally being splayed in the open. Faint anxiety began to creep into your voice once more. It felt numb, but it still lingered, threatening to spill over once the wine’s soothing effect has been washed away from your system completely. „I feel messed up. Fifty percent of the time I’m so frustrated because there’s so much work for me to do, so many cases to look over and so many letters to write, and my mind keeps yelling at me to keep going and going and going— to just do one more thing, despite having said that ten things ago, despite feeling like I’m running on fumes.“ 

You drew a shaky breath, feeling defeated by your own words. It hurt to admit things like that. You knew what you had just said, it didn’t require a psychology degree to recognize symptoms of burnout for what they were.

„My darling girl… come here.“ Theo murmured into your ear as he pressed you closer to his body, and you would’ve pulled away like a child and glared at him for patronizing you like that but you didn’t have the energy to put up a fight this time. You just let him hold you tightly, finding a comfortable sense of calm in the way he petted your head affectionally. 

It was clear to him that you needed his help — not just as your husband but as your doctor, too. He didn’t mind taking hours off to care for you, far from it. He welcomed it, with excitement even. He’s always wanted to have you as his little patient, for what was more beautiful than healing his own most treasured person the way you had healed him?

He felt a tiny bit bad that a part of him longed for this broken version of you, when he knew just how unhappy you were with your vulnerability. He loved you, he cared for you and he didn’t want you to suffer a second of your life. In fact, if he were to decide, you’d forever life in bliss, just you and him forever and ever with no distractions… ah, how perfect that would be. Perhaps bliss could be him taking care of you, if only you would let him.

But you were so damn stubborn with the way you kept to yourself like this, bottling your feelings up until they exploded in your face in the form of yet another destructive breakdown, and making him question time and time again if he should maybe just hurry and lock you at the hospital to take care of you better. You absolutely needed his professional attention, that much he knew. In fact, you’ve been needing it for a long time now.

He’s known you for 6 years now and even in the beginning he was able to tell that you had some underlying issues tied to your work ethics specifically. 

What had begun as quiet admiration for your ambition and will to work hard and succeed didn’t take long to morph into worry whenever he saw you study until exhaustion, pulling one allnighter after the other. Sometimes he couldn’t tell whether blood or coffee was primarily coursing though your veins, with the way you chugged one Americano after the other to sustain your absurd lifestyle. Either way, you were too jittery by default for him to come to a solid conclusion. 

Still, in the back of his mind he always kept thinking that it wasn’t normal how much you obsessed over your work and how badly you stressed yourself out over achievements and academics. Pacing for countless hours in your room, surely trying to figure what’s wrong with you if your google history was anything to go by; crying yourself to sleep whenever you had tears to spare; hurting yourself when you didn’t have any because of the sheer numbness and resignation that were accumulating within you - all these symptoms were worrisome, to put it mildly. But all that disappeared once you got your fix, just for everything to start anew in the next semester. And now you perpetuated this cycle by applying those distructive habits to your work and even escalating them in the form of alcohol abuse.

He never addressed the fact that he was indeed aware of your hyper-fixation on success and your clear need to do everything in your power to achieve it, mainly because it didn’t make sense to do so in his mind. Countless strained discussions between the two of you have shown that you were the type of person that needed to experience a burn first hand for the lesson to stick (and that wasn’t even guaranteed), so he figured that he just had to wait and support you until you inevitably wore yourself out. He just never would’ve thought that it would take six years for that to happen. 

Needless to say, he was truly amazed by your year-long resistence to the way you were torturing your own mind, but now it was time to rest. He’s always known that you were the strongest person he’s ever had the honour of knowing, yet your strength was paradoxically also creating a blind spot in your psyche that let a special kind of fragility to fester.

One that he’s always been meant to mend to perfectly match his own.

„Don’t worry, my Ana, I’ll help you feel like before. Just rest for now… You trust me, don’t you?“

[lukeiamnotyourfatherlol]

Ok SO, Arcane ending got me so fucked up I started writing Jayvik fanfic (never written fanfic in my life btw) so here I am lol. I keep getting distracted by writing random scenes to maybe include instead of actually getting the Plot down and stuff so here’s a lil snippet of a scene I had fun with! It’s gonna be a post-canon fix-it, but what’s Jayvik without some hurt/comfort? Lmk if it’s cool or also if it’s trash idk.

…

No. No, this can’t be right. Not again.

Viktor feels his chest tighten and he takes fast, shallow breaths, struggling to breathe.

He’s vaguely aware of Jayce’s concerned voice as he talks with the doctor, hand never leaving Viktor’s shoulder. Their voices seem muffled against the sound of Viktor’s pounding heartbeat.

No, please it isn’t fair.

“… not many treatments available…”

“…a few months at most…”

“… keep him comfortable…”

It’s not fair!

“… anything more we can do? We’ll try anything!”

It’s not fair.

“… please…”

“I’m sorry…”

Viktor feels the hand leave his shoulder and the muffled voices become more agitated. He can’t seem to do anything other than focus on breathing. He sits frozen on the edge of the bed and hears the sound of a door closing and footsteps pacing back and forth a short distance away. Viktor manages to lift his head up and focuses on where Jayce walks back and forth with his head buried in his hands. He stops after a moment and just leans against the wall, taking a few deep breaths before lifting his head up, hands running through his hair. Red rimmed eyes meet Viktor’s far away gaze and Jayce gives a weak smile before walking back over to Viktor’s side. He sits down next to him and faces forward, both of them staring at the wall in front of them.

“Viktor, I-“ Jayce’s voice breaks and Viktor sees him lift a hand up to his eyes.

“I didn’t expect it to come back” Viktor croaks, throat sore from coughing earlier. “I thought- I don’t know, I just- hadn’t considered it a possibility”

Jayce turns to face him fully, grabbing onto his shoulders. “We’re going to find a cure. You’re going to get better. We’ll figure this out, ok?” His expression is full of pained desperation, eyes searching Viktor’s face for reassurance.

Viktor just nods and looks away. He sighs and feels tears burn at the back of his eyes. He squeezes them shut, hoping to stop them from falling. “I don’t want to die, Jayce” he says softly. His voice feels smaller than he’s ever heard it.

“You’re not going to, Viktor. I won’t let it happen. I’m not going to lose you again.”

Viktor opens his eyes to Jayce’s determined expression. He can’t help a small smile at that look. It’s the same look Jayce would get in the lab when he refused to give up on a failing project, determined to see it through. Viktor wonders how many more times he’ll get to see it. He reaches up and places a hand on Jayce’s cheek. Jayce sighs and leans into the touch, closing his eyes. He places a hand over Viktor’s and then reaches his other arm over and pulls Viktor close. They rest their foreheads together, leaning onto each other for support. It feels like they can overcome anything this way, the two of them against the world. As partners.

[yuomizuu]

♡ | holiday, peppermint candy ── childe x reader !

synopsis: it’s the most wonderful time of the year in which everything is merry and bright! well.. it would be, if you weren’t so cramped with schoolwork. but as the saying goes, there’s always room for a christmas miracle to find its way in, even if temporary.

additional: w.c 1.6k ⸝⸝⸝ ( content includes: modern au, uni au established rs, gn reader, holiday fluff, mini smau snippet at the end )

(🧣 ) yuomi’s note: plays the trumpet poorly – introducing my holiday piece of the @stellaronhvnters secret santa event! this gift is specially written for and in dedication of @mitsvriii !! i hope you enjoy this piece ohka ^w^ ahshwaj i lowk struggled for a bit trying to grasp childe’s character since i haven’t ever written for him before so im hoping i got his characterization right for the most part😭im wishing you a very happy and wonderful merry christmas and a happy new year as well! may the coming year treat you kindly in your future endeavors <3

once more, it appears as though that particular time of the year is starting to steadily approach. where a light snowfall pleasantly greets you on a slow morning and you bask in the tranquil silence of the world outside through frosted window-panes whilst the city transforms itself into a snowglobe of winter wonderland.

for some individuals, they cannot help but dread this time of year. the idea of having the once long days now cut short, shoveling heaps of snow off their cars or driveways, and wearing layers upon layers of clothes just to keep warm was anything but agreeable. of course, you understood such sentiments; it wasn’t like you haven’t had your fair share of difficult winters before such as that one time you ( unfortunately ) ended up waiting an hour for the bus outside in the freezing cold, only for it to never show up. your entire body had felt completely numb, you almost couldn’t even bring yourself to walk back to your apartment thinking that it was probably a better fate to just freeze to death. needless to say, you ended up skipping out on all your classes for that day — something that your boyfriend, ajax, found to be far too exciting than it should have been.

because while you remained moping and complaining to him on the phone about having to miss out on your classes and therefore, unable to take notes which will undoubtedly cause you to fall behind in the semester, he appeared to have other things planned up his soft winter sweater sleeves.

“—and the worst part about it is that the professor doesn’t even upload the lecture slides online! how does he expect us to have our notes written down when we can’t even have access to the damn thing?”

the frustration in your tone is evident and ajax does his best to respond with understanding of the situation, something you appreciate him for in that moment because archon knows you’d be long spiraling into a panic by now without his voice of reason. “i’m sorry to hear that babe, is there no one from your class that you can ask to send you the notes?”

heaving out a sigh, you sink further back into your bed with a frown, running a hand over your face. “no… lynette is usually able to help me with that but she went away on some holiday vacation with her family last week. i have no idea how she isn’t stressing out about this like i am.”

”hmm, what about emailing your professor for the lecture notes?”

for the next short while, you and ajax went back and forth on discussing different solutions to your dilemma with the former occasionally voicing a ridiculous suggestion like raiding him in snowballs or sending him an overbaked, unsavory fruitcake for the holidays. admittedly, they coaxed a chuckle or two out of you, briefly distracting you from the overtaking stress until you need to quickly redirect the conversation back to that matter at hand.

as the two of you continued to discuss however, you couldn’t help but notice the odd sniffle or two that would sound on the other line

”ajax, are you coming down with a cold?” you asked, an undertone of concern in your voice that elicited a soft chuckle to ring in your ear.

”no, no, i’m alright babe. i was just outside for a bit taking out the trash. it was supposed to be scara’s turn but you know how he is with this kind of weather.”

an unknowing sigh of relief slips past. “okay good — make sure you’re bundling up properly before going out, and warm yourself up right away once you get back inside. you’ll catch a nasty cold if you don’t.”

”i will, i will..” you could almost hear a slight hint of a smile in his voice as he answered. even when you were in the middle of dealing with an academic crisis, you still went out of your way to make sure that he was doing okay. “buut… i want you to warm me up instead.” 

“huh? me?” you question, pointing to yourself as though he could see you in the first place. “i mean unless there’s a way for me to do that through a phone call, i don’t think i can even—eh? ajax?”

the call abruptly ends with the other end hanging up and you pull your phone away from your ear, blankly staring at ajax’s intact page in confusion. strange… did he lose signal? a power outage maybe? or maybe his wifi’s finally kicked the curb.

just before you could press the call button again to see if you could still call him, the sound of knocking on your door grabs your attention. with a small groan, you climb out of bed and make your way over, unsure of who awaits on the other side. honestly, who would even be out and about in such cold weather in the first place? and yet to your surprise, the moment you open the door you’re suddenly enveloped in a chilling embrace.

“ack! ajax?” well that was certainly unexpected.

burying his face into your neck, the man lets out a small, content sigh, his warm breath fanning against your skin which is a complete contrast to the coldness nipping at his nose — or his entire body for that matter.

a shiver runs down your spine. ”ajax! you’re freezing!” you complain, attempting to squirm out of his grasp that only results in him tightening his arms around you even more.

”that’s why i’m hugging you, so you can warm me up,” he mutters, voice muffled against your neck and you can't help but almost deadpan in response.

“that’s such a cheesy thing to say..” 

“maybe, but you love it either way!” he remarks, pulling back with a smile that you always resembled to a golden retriever ( demeanor wise ). he then feigns a look of thought. “or would you prefer if i did this instead?”

before you can even take a moment to wonder what he means, he’s already reaching out and cupping your face with his ice cold hands, the feeling of which has you yelping in protest once again. “babe, no! stop treating me like your personal heat warmer!”

yet no matter how many times you attempt to pull your head away from his hold, he doesn't seem to budge in the slightest, simply staring at you in amusement. eventually though, he relents from torturing you any further with his teasing antics, giving a light pinch to your cheeks until he leans in and captures your lips in a brief, chaste kiss that manages to make your face grow flush, almost to the point where you can’t tell if it’s his hands that had warmed up already or your face is just too hot to even realize.

“now that i’m all nice and warm, we can start having our indoor christmas date!” ajax says, welcoming himself further into your home without explaining himself any further.

“wait… what? ‘indoor christmas date?’” you repeat, still a bit dumbfounded from the kiss shared a moment ago. closing the door behind, you walk over to the kitchen counter where ajax as already set down his backpack, watching him pull out the various things carried inside one by one.

“well, since you won’t be able to attend your classes today, i figured it was the perfect opportunity for us to spend the day together instead. look! i brought packets of hot chocolate we can make, your favorite christmas movies–along with some of my own–and i even found these cool little gingerbread house building kits in my dorm!”

you have to admit, a part of you can’t help but become intrigued at all the items and activities placed before you. college so far has been nothing short of stress and fatigue on your already weary self, taking up so much of your time throughout the past month or so. because of that, you’ve barely gotten the chance to even enjoy the festivities of the holidays this year, too preoccupied with meeting deadlines and wrapping up group projects. now that you’re presented with the opportunity to indulge in the holiday spirit and best of all, with your boyfriend, you’re almost tempted to give in. but…

“ajax, this is all really sweet but.. i really can’t spend the day doing all this, i’ll still need to catch up with my classes online and do the work there–”

“c’mon babe, please? just for a little while and then i promise i’ll help you figure something out with your classes.” 

archons.. there he goes giving you that look again, the one he knows you can’t resist no matter how much you attempt to deny it. you let out a sigh of resignation. “.. okay fine. but only for a little while and that’s it.”

that supposed plan of yours ended up going down the drain real quick.

although the situation with your professor ( or the rest of your classes for the day ) was far from over, you would inevitably find yourself forgetting about that situation entirely throughout the rest of the day. your build up of stress would be released via warm cuddles beneath soft heated blankets and equally warm cups of hot chocolate as you and ajax would have a marathon of some of your favorite christmas movies. but that was of course after you two spent a good while making your gingerbread houses together. at first it started out as a cute little activity with the goal of just getting the pieces to remain standing for longer than two seconds but after about ten minutes or so into the session, that was when you noticed ajax began to get a little too invested into his gingerbread house. for  now though, you’ll simply ignore the way he went full on architect mode on his building–sooner or later all his hard work will be reduced to nothing but mere crumbs and leftover pieces of candy, but you won’t tell him that.

⋆｡˚❆˚ ｡⋆

divider credits: @/issysh3ll

[kasienda]

Fanfiction Year In Review - 2024

I fill this out every year. It’s become a bit of a tradition for me. Allows me to reflect on everything that I’ve written and kinda think about where I want to go next. And I like it better from the ask games because I don’t have to wait for asks to come in and can compare my answers from one year to the next. ^_^

1 List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

Rings True - One Shot - Love Square - Senti and Identity Reveal

Not Part of the Plan - Multichapter - Love Square Mixtape - Series of five Adrino one shots

Celebrity Status - Multichapter - Ladrien

Bend the World Around It - Multichapter - Ladynoir

If You Could Go Back - Oneshot - Marinette Character Study

Is Chat Noir a Good Kisser? - Oneshot - Ladynoir

When You’re Hung Up On Your Best Friend - Oneshot - Adrino

Aftermath - Multichapter - Adrinette

Joke’s On Me - Multichapter - Adrino

2 Number of words written: 

Written: 139,613

Published: 122,191

Those numbers include nine one shots, five completed multi chapters. And another four multi chapter WIPs saw at least one update.

3 Your most popular fic:

It’s hard to say. Hasn’t felt like anything has been popular lately as the fandom has contracted. But some of the stuff I finished earlier in the year definitely had some traction at the time.  Maybe Aftermath? But half of its attention came before this year so it’s difficult to say.

4 Your personal fav:

Aftermath is definitely still my favorite. This is a story about healing after your life has fallen absolutely apart, and finding meaning in that struggle when you look back. In my opinion, this is the best thing I’ve written so far. 

Though I probably had the most fun writing the last few chapters of Celebrity Status or the first half of Joke’s On Me. 

5 Your fav scene:

I absolutely could not isolate a scene in Aftermath, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. I like too much of that fic to pick out one scene. Haha! So here’s a recent snippet from the opening scene Not Your Secret to Keep that I was really proud of:

“Ni—Carapace!” The sound of Ladybug’s yo-yo whizzed passed his ear.  Carapace didn’t slow.  Not until she landed right in front of him. “Please, I beg you,” and her eyes were actually glistening with tears. “Don’t tell him.”  “How can you stand to keep this from him?” he countered. “He deserves to have the memory of a good father.”  Nino’s expression darkened. She didn’t understand at all.  Ladybug probably had amazing parents. “You don’t get to decide how he remembers his father.”  He ducked around her. Or he tried.  She blocked his path, raising her yo-yo. His blood ran cold. “You’re going to fight me? Over keeping this secret that’s not even yours?! To protect fucking Monarch?!” Her face blanched - white as Gabriel’s last suit.  “Is that what it means to hold a miraculous now?” He ripped the bracelet off his wrist, instantly feeling the sky’s assault against his face once again, and shoved it into her chest.  “If it is, I quit!” She stood frozen, staring at his miraculous in her hands. 

And another Ladrien snippet from Celebrity Status:

He clearly meant for the kiss to be chaste - a sweet greeting to his quasi girlfriend. It was Ladybug who deepened it. If she was only going to get one more kiss, she needed it to be out of this world. She needed to feel it in her toes. She wanted him to always remember it.  Because kissing him one last time wasn’t risking anything they hadn’t already risked. Especially since no one could see them. They were in his room inside a mansion that had a three meter wall around it. As long as she didn’t keep visiting him regularly he should be safe. And so she lost herself in the dance of their tongues, the warmth of his breath, the safety of being held in his arms.  But it couldn’t last forever. When she pulled back, his eyes remained closed, his face was glowing in pure delight. He rested his forehead against hers.  “Wow, what did I do to earn such a kiss?” Her chest tightened in agony.  He must have seen something in her expression because his smile dissolved, and his hands tightened on her waist.  “What is it? What’s wrong?” “We can’t do this,” she said, tears building in her eyes.  “What? Why not?” he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.  “If anyone ever found out, Hawkmoth would never let you be.”  “No one has to find out,” he insisted.  “I shouldn’t be visiting you regularly like this at all. It’s too dangerous.”  He shook his head. “I’m fine. It’s worth the risk. You are worth the risk.”  She pulled out of his hold. “No! I’m not! Don’t you understand?! He could use you against me, and it would work! I would hand over everything for you.” He looked thunderstruck. “What?” he whispered.  “I love you,” she confessed. “I have for a long time. Longer than you realize. I wouldn’t be strong enough. We have to stop this.”  He stepped closer to her, smiling softly in that way that turned her insides to jelly. His hands cradled either side of her face.  “Yeah…” he breathed a centimeter from her face. “We should stop.” His lips were on hers once again.  They didn’t stop. 

6 A fic or scene that challenged you:

My biggest roadblock this year was completing Chapter Seven of Aftermath. I had so much of a block here that I actually finished drafting and editing chapter eight before I had finished even a rough draft of seven, and then I had a chapter ready to go and I had to just sit on it! I didn’t even have the OPTION of posting it. This has never ever happened in any of my works before because I hate editing, so why would I edit a chapter I can’t even post?!  Chapter Seven was hard because it involved a bunch of cultural research for Alya and Nino’s wedding. I wasn’t super pure in my adaptation of my research, but I wanted to represent at least a little bit of their actual cultures here. And whenever I’m writing for a cultural piece the writing gets a bit more technical (is that the right word?) and because I’m not writing from my own experience (but rather from research) it can feel a bit dry at first. It takes a ton of effort to make it come alive, which I very much want it to because that’s the whole point of representing other cultures!! This chapter was also really difficult to write because I had to balance Marinette’s headspace with the plot arc. There were so many instances where her mental state and the plot just clashed and I had to rewrite it over and over to stay true to both. And it was a huge challenge and I’m really happy with how it eventually turned out. And then the rest of the fic came together so easily!! (The next chapter was already done! Haha!)

7 A line of writing you’re proud of: 

Chat Noir was still there, but he stood opposite her. His lips - stained black with hate - curled into a snarl, and he lunged forward. She barely yanked her head back. His strike missed her by a fingernail’s width.  She wanted to cry. She hated seeing him like this. And she couldn’t bring herself to fight him.  She had loved him even then, hadn’t she?  She ducked under his arm, flipped him to the ground, and pressed her lips to his.  It had worked once. It might work again.  He relaxed underneath her, completely melted in her hold. And suddenly, he was kissing her back.  But that hadn’t happened.   The warmth of his lips sliding against hers felt familiar. Like it was a moment they had shared a hundred times before. When she pulled away, his lips were pink and stretched into a smile that reached his eyes.  Green eyes that were human instead of feline, that were not covered by a mask, that were shining with so much love.   His name bubbled on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t get it out past the tears that were constricting her throat. How had she never realized? For the first time in as long as she could remember, everything made sense, the stars had aligned and everything was right in the universe.  She kissed him again. She had never imagined she could even be this happy.  It almost didn’t feel real.  She startled awake, her eyes wet and that feeling of euphoria still alive in her heart and chest.

It’s those last two lines. The it didn’t feel real, leading into the waking up. This is from the last chapter of Aftermath.

8 A comment that touched you: 

I can never get this down to just one. But the comments that tend to mean the most to me are when something I wrote impacted someone in their daily life or when something I wrote made someone feel seen. So here’s a few examples of that.

9 Something that inspired your writing this year:

It feels sad to say this, but probably depression and loneliness more than anything else. 

10 Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

If it isn’t already obvious, I finished Aftermath!!! Been working on this one for four years!! 

And overall, this was a really good year for finishing things. I didn’t finish everything, but I brought the number of active WIPs down to HALF! I think part of that is that I haven’t had a lot of new ideas this year. I guess the silver lining to that is that it freed up a lot of writing time to finish things. 

11 Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I very much need to finish my Adrino Secret Santa Fic! It’s only half done, but my brain is not cooperating these past few days. I haven’t felt able to focus in any kind of creative way. 

I really want to write an Alyanette multichapter fic this year!! I feel like I’ve written three confession scenes for them across multiple poly fics and they are always so sweet!! But I have a hard time with the build up before that, so I clearly need to practice some sapphic writing to expand my repertoire.

Feels like a longshot to say I want to finish Right Behind You, but I’m gonna say it anyway because last year I would not have believed I could finish Aftermath and that happened!

And I’m hoping to come up with some new ideas and start some new projects. 

12 Anyone you would like to thank?

@coffeebanana - As this fandom has gotten a lot smaller, I’m so grateful that you’re still around excitedly sharing snippets and squealing about mine at the drop of a hat. For every single time you beta-ed anything especially at the last minute. I appreciate you! 

@mila-beedoodling for pictures of flowers and berries, for always responding with kindness, making artwork, and lately, answering my questions about Spanish. 

@wehadabondingmoment - I really enjoy just chatting with you about your stories. We had some pretty good conversations. 

To both the Little Bug and the Adrino Servers for continuing to be excited about these blorbos and for keeping me from being totally isolated in this fandom that has gotten a lot smaller. 

The WIP Big Bang Event for giving me the motivation that comes with the promise of artwork and a deadline.

Happy New Year Everyone!!

[darcytaylor]

As someone with ADHD, like Luke, and the rejection sensitivity and anxiety that comes with it, I don’t have public social media profiles. So on one hand, I have some empathy for him. I really understand the low self-esteem, high levels of self-criticism, people pleasing tendencies, overwhelm, executive dysfunction, and stress. But he chose to go into film/ TV acting rather than theatre, knowing that the recognition and scrutiny that comes with it would be worse. He chose to go into acting even though it’s known that rejection is a huge part of the job. He has chosen to keep social media. He could have totally deleted all of his profiles when he deleted Twitter. Many actors aren’t online, including his own cast mates. I find it hard to believe that he solely kept it to please the fans, since he doesn’t post snippets of his life like he once did. He also chose to share that his profile is just for work now. Yet, he has been caught liking his girlfriend’s photos within minutes, even though he has a private account to do that, while Nicola posts about Bridgerton and he can’t even be bothered to throw her a like or a comment- let alone posting something himself. It’s been months of this. If he’s already online, it doesn’t take a lot to screenshot a news headline and share it to his story with a “thank you, these numbers are incredible”. So, on the other hand, I understand where the frustration is coming from. Is this a work account or not? The timing of some of those online-but-not-for-Bridgerton incidences coupled with the timing of the InStyle and premiere stunts was not a good look. It makes him seem ungrateful and like he wants nothing to do with the show. It’s his bad luck that Nicola is the internet’s darling. He won’t ever have her social media savvy and I do feel for him there. She outshines him in interviews and online. But the bar is really on the floor for him and a lot of fans are handling him with kid gloves (not you by any means). A lot of the criticism he’s facing is fair. He’s in an overwhelming situation right now, but he has the financial means to tackle it through therapy and by handing over his social media account to the publicists he already pays. I was jealous when he mentioned he has coping strategies for his ADHD and dyslexia in Bowral- it’s still a struggle for me. Unfortunately for me and women everywhere, we weren’t adequately included in ADHD research until the 90s and there wasn’t even a long-term study until 2002. I’ve been in weekly therapy for 5 years now, following a major breakdown coupled with grief, and for 4 of those years, I was waiting for an appointment with a covered psychiatrist to get *any* diagnosis, since I didn’t have the thousands needed to pay for my own private testing. If I have been able to prioritize this within my meagre free time and budget (rather than trips, nights out, restaurants, unnecessary shopping, etc. and with some debt), he can easily do the same. That lifestyle isn’t quite how I imagined my young adulthood would pan out. One Soho Farmhouse weekend of his could pay for a few months. And he’s had months on end since season 3 wrapped filming when he could have done intensive daily therapy, especially after his break up, rather than pursuing 20 year olds online or jetting off to another holiday. Maybe he did- I don’t know his life- but maybe he needs more right now. When he turned on Nicola’s notifications and started liking random posts she was tagged in by brands, I already assumed he had handed over his account. If so, his team should extend that to story posts for Bridgerton news. All of that to say, my empathy has its limits. The barriers currently holding him back have solutions.

Thank you for your response and taking the time to write in an ask. I appreciate you!

I do understand the frustration/disappointment of how Luke is handling some things (especially his social media). It seems like this is an area of his life that could be an easy fix for him (hand it over to someone more capable) and he just can't seem to take that step.

Luke is overwhelmed (as he has stated multiple times) and while I can also say it is the life he chose, I think it could also be a case of not realizing exactly what his industry entails.

It's easy to say that he's the one that chose it, but if he's doing something he loves to do, it was probably worth the risk in the end. Maybe he truly believed he could handle things like this. Hindsight is 20/20.

I am sorry that you weren't able to afford the proper health care and it has taken you so long to get a diagnosis. I hate that things like that are unattainable without money. It should not be the case.

Luke is privileged in that aspect for sure and it sucks when it seems like people take that for granted. Although hopefully, like you have also stated, he has been able to seek the help that he may need. All things like this take time and is also very personal (I don't want to further speculate on that matter).

I always strive to look at situations empathetically (and sometimes even to a fault). I always like to look at and come up with multiple reasons why someone may be doing what they are doing. This has let me see some situations in a different light, allowing me to be empathetic or sympathetic to situations. I know that with most situations it is never the case of being black and white (life is nuanced, people are nuanced). So many things can be at play at one time, and most of the time I can see valid reasons why someone is doing what they are doing (even when they are making bad choices).

Obviously I don't know what is going on with Luke at the moment, or where his head is truly at. But I have faith that he will come around and straighten himself out. I don't think he has done anything that is completely unforgivable, so I'm giving him a little bit of grace.

[toothpastecanyon]

Mizar V Alcor for the ask game!! 👀👀👀 You’ve got me curious

Asked by the awesome @etheralisi and @graffic17! This is the working title I had for We Creatures! I stalled on this one for a while cough 3 years cough but I included it because recently I've started working on it again!

Definitely a fun one to write! I really liked sprinkling little hints about the true nature of this 'Mizar' before the reveal - I wonder what that burrito in chapter 2 is? :3

The Creature was inspired by the character Camille from the British TV series Red Dwarf, a blobby alien who appears to each crewmember as their perfect romantic match. I, uh, wouldn't quite recommend Red Dwarf, but it's a very nostalgic show from my childhood and it has some super creative ideas I find myself drawing a lot from. I liked the idea of a sort of magic antimatter, a creature that's actually more dangerous to a powerful demon like Alcor than regular humans.

I think the working title referenced a more sinister role for the Creature before they sort of evolved into a more sympathetic character. I got stuck on exactly how to end it, but I've got a good idea on what I want to do now :3

Here's a little snippet for the next chapter!

_

“Oh, wow, look at that!”

“Look at what?” Alcor looked back to see the Creature staring in open wonder out of the window; he looked as well, and frowned. “It’s just corn.”

“Corn?”

“You don’t know what corn is?”

“They don’t grow corn in the forest,” she mumbled, and kept staring out of the window. “What does it taste like? Maybe we should stop and try it!”

“I thought you wanted to get on to the desert.”

“I do! But those elves aren’t gonna be jumping us now we’re out of the trees.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Jeez, and it’s so flat, too! Yeah, no elf wants to be out here.”

Alcor gave a wry smile. “Glad to hear that… but, uh, not you?”

She looked at him questioningly, and he cleared his throat.

“I mean, you said you’re an elf, too. If they’re not able to survive in the desert-“

“Survive? Oh, they can survive just fine, and so can I.” She snorted. “Their magic just takes a hit is all, and I don’t need to worry about that.”

“Oh, good to know!”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine out there, same as I was fine in the sewers.” She sat back a little in her seat, bracelets softly jangling. “I’ll survive,” she said, quietly. “That’s what I do.”

There was a wistful edge to that, and he frowned. “Is… that what you want, though?”

“To survive? Uh, yes.”

“No, no, sure, to survive, yeah, but…” he struggled for the right words. “You were, you were living in a sewer-“

“Where else would I live? Above ground?” She shifted in the backseat - constantly shifted, like the space was too small for her. “You’ve seen what I really look like. It’s not gonna happen.”

“I mean, it could happen. People got used to all sorts of creatures after the Transcendence.”

“People got used to some sorts of creatures. Look, your average elf just looks like a human with pointy ears - of course they fit in.”

“But-“

“But we don’t.” She arched an eyebrow. “Come on, man, you know this. You were just telling me about how you disguised yourself as human to go to university. You think they’d have been cool with a demon signing up for classes?”

Alcor opened his mouth - and then he sighed. “No… But you’re not a demon.”

“I might as well be to them.” He saw her in the mirror, staring down at her hands. She caught his look, and tried for a smile. “But look, we don’t have to argue about this - it’s just the way things are, you know?”

“I guess.”

“And it wasn’t like it was some endless torment living in the sewers. I made it my own.” She turned to the window. “You know, I built that cabin you saw in the woods. I used to come out there a lot, just to… to be amongst the trees, to spend a night under the stars. If I can just have a little place like that again, I wouldn’t ask for anything else.”

He watched her look out over the cornfields, that smile on her face slowly fading.

That was all she’d ask for, huh. Alcor wanted to say something else… but what was there to say? He gave a sigh.

“Well… I could visit?”

“Hm,” she said, not seeming to hear him at first. Then she looked up. “What was that?”

“I could visit - if you want, of course!” He watched her expression. “It’s been kinda, kinda nice, taking this road trip with you. I mean, maybe it’s silly, but-“

“No, no, no.” A new kind of grin was warming her face. “I’d like that.”

[thelamb1429]

Soul Train

Eyeless Jack x GN! Reader

<3

This is part of a larger series i’m working on. For now i’m just gonna post lil snippets of the fanfic just to sort of get a feel for how i want the story to go.

This is also probably poorly written/has a lot of grammatical errors because i’m currently pretty sick right now so i’m writing with a scrambled brain atm. I’ll be back to spruce things up when i feel better!

STORY INFO/WARNINGS

Reader is gender neutral

This isn’t necessarily a oneshot, but i don’t know if i plan on posting chapters here on Tumblr when I should probably just post the whole story on another platform so that my art isn’t drowning under tons of stories lol

This part includes: Mentions of death, mentions of death regarding a parent, descriptions of panic, slight mentions of murder

Every single last ounce of oxygen seemed to be sucked from your burning lungs at full force, leaving you on your knees, coughing and retching while the silent vehicle raced down the tracks. Car after car flew over the metal just a few feet from where you knelt. The moment you could breathe enough for your vision to fade back in and your ears to slowly stop ringing, all you could see as far as your eyes traced down the railroad tracks was a never ending train. You sat there for about a minute, but it seemed like the train wasn’t ever going to end.

Nina looped an arm under yours to help you back onto your feet, and you were so out of it that you couldn’t even feel the pointy accessories on her arms and hands poke into your skin. Despite the train in front of you both not emitting a deafening whistle, the rustle of metal on metal was enough to block out any words she tried to get into your head. Everything in front of you moved in slow motion as the weight of the situation set in.

Jack was probably dead now.

You could have saved him.

He probably died thinking that you would get there in time to help.

Once again you went limp in your best friend’s arms, to which she stumbled and struggled to catch your weakened body. Nina eased the both of you onto the grass as the train finally passed and the red glare of the warning lights went dark. Her eyes looked past the tracks onto the dirt road beyond, as if to try and manifest the best case scenario. She wasn’t an optimist by any means, but she knew how much Jack meant to you. You two had been friends for years now, long before you went off to college. While the decked out girl holding onto you had never even met the guy, she felt a cold chill eat away at her spine as it rushed through her nerves, making the rapidly beating heart in her chest speed up with the anxiety caused by the both of you panicking.

But she'd known death much closer than you had. You had lost many loved ones, but her little hobby brought her up close and personal with it several times a week. For once, Nina felt a determination to lead that didn't scare her off. Calling the shots wasn't something that she liked to take charge of, but this was the perfect moment for her to take the lead, to do something helpful for you. She didn't have many friends, especially none that could understand her and handle her like you did.

Maybe helping you get to Jack could help you both strengthen the bond that was weakened by the argument from the week prior to the crisis at hand.

Determined to help, Nina once again hoisted you up and looked you in the eyes.

"[Name], I know that right now you're pissed at me. And I lied to you, I deserve your anger right now. But if we have any chance of getting into that forest and saving Jack, we have to get up and do it now. That cult— or whatever the hell they are— they're dangerous and Jack has no clue.

You love him, right? Then we need to get to him and get him back into your arms, safe and sound.

So take a deep breath and get up already! I can't find him on my own. I don't even know what he looks like!"

Nina pulled at your arms, groaning with the force of exertion she put out as you seemed to stay in place, frozen from the terror of losing the only man who you'd ever considered to have a shred of humanity in him. The only man who befriended you with no ulterior motives. The only man you knew who treated you as an equal.

You weren't gonna lose him. You had to stop mourning for a death you couldn't even confirm.

Much to your best friend's relief, you started running off past the cleared tracks, leading the way towards the countryside where the forest began. Cold, bitter air nipped at both of your bodies and filled your lungs, causing your throats to ache with the icy chill that seeped into you both as you inhaled air.

Contrary to popular belief, Nina was not good at running! She was used to cornering her victims in locations that allowed for her to easily escape and march back to her hidden little cabin in the woods at a leisurely pace. When she wanted to run, she ran pretty fast, but it was obvious that she wasn't used to running for so long. Since she was trying her best to help, you attempted to slow down just a bit so that she could catch up.

After five minutes of running down the road, Nina had to stop to breathe. She gasped for air as he chest heaved, trying to get more oxygen into her burning lungs. She looked up at you, taking in the panic evident on your face when she collapsed. Her mascara ran down her face just a little when her eyes watered from the excessive running.

"Go— you..you need to find him. I'll catch up, just go", she wheezed out as a cough wracked through her body.

The encouragement was all you needed to take off running once again.

Maybe it was the adrenaline in your body that kept you going, masking the ache in your chest and your legs from the constant sprinting you were doing. Maybe it was the fear that if you didn't suck it up and run, that it would be too late. Whatever it was, it caused you to keep running so fast that it felt as if you were gliding through the forest around you.

You had no idea where exactly he was. In fact, you were going in blind. But there was something deep within the core of your very being that seemed to yank you in one direction before leading you towards another.

All you could do was repeat a silent prayer that you hadn't said in years. Not since your mom died.

All you could do was pray to whatever higher being that could exist to let Jack still be alive when you find him.

Credits for the dividers i used go to poicelain and kgymz!! <3

[batbirdies]

For the wip ask game how about the cuddle pollen one?

This fic has give me nothing but grief lol. I struggled with it so hard and finally tabled it for some future date when my brain might figure out what to do with it.

But basically the plot was that there’s an Arkham breakout, but so far no one has actually escaped the asylum, just their cells, so it’s all hands on deck, all the bats are inside Arkham trying to get everyone back in their cells before they can get out into Gotham proper and cause major problems.

Bane is one of the escapees, on the hunt for his venom that is stored in some evidence lockup/lab somewhere on the premises along with all the other rogues weird stuff including Ivys pollen.

Bane gets the venom, but he also gets exposed to Ivy’s pollen. You can imagine just how incredibly dangerous this would be!

Tim ends up the one that finds him (unknowing that it’s him) and is almost crushed to death by Bane on pollen. Jason shows up to save Tim but the situation is bad, Tim is injured and now also exposed to the pollen and Jason can’t defend them both and get Tim out of there fast enough. The wing of the hospital they’re in is under renovations and they end up locking themselves in one of the cells for protection from Bane, who is so affected by the pollen he’s no longer trying to escape, just trying to get to the nearest bodies.

The rest of the fic is where I got stuck lol, so I don’t fully know what I would do with the rest but here have a snippet of what’s written:

Tim can’t move. He can’t move and he can’t breathe and the pressure around his ribs is steadily increasing to a point of utter and complete animalistic panic. His hands turn to claws and the knife, still clutched in his left, stabs over and over in tiny, shallow jabs against venom enhanced muscles that barely feel fucking pain to begin with.

He feels one of his ribs crack, hears the dull noise in his head like opening a fucking water bottle and screams, muffled into sweat soaked nylon. His brain is full of static, pain, panic, he’s going to die if he can’t get out of this hold or alert the others.

But his arms are trapped at his sides. His vision is starting to go, sparks flashing in his brain.

He can’t get out of this hold.

He’s going to die—

gunfire sounds somewhere above him and Bane lets out an animalistic scream. Tim feels it more than hears it, in the clenching of his chest, the massive boa constrictor around his ribs tightens and he blacks out for a moment.

He feels a yank on his leg, blackness, sees a flash of gunfire, blinding in his nightvision lenses, blackness, startles and screams when he lands on the ground in a heap, blacks out.

A fist in the back of his uniform, dragging him by the neck, cutting into his throat.

“Red get up! Get up! Respond now!”

He chokes, goes tense, tries to get his feet under him as a gun goes off behind him. But he feels like a newborn baby with noodle legs, and his entire torso feels like a cracked egg. He’s being dragged very fast. Full speed even, and the jerking up and down of it has him choking, dragging his arms up to hold onto the neck of his uniform and stop it from pressing into his throat. Catches sight of the sparkles all over his arms and has a moment where it all clicks. Bane’s odd silence up to now, the heavy breathing, the hugging him to his body instead of just trying to rip him limb from limb.

Shit. Shit.

“dont—“

“What? What? Red?! Don’t what?!”

It’s red hood thats dragging him, Jason, one arm extended behind him with a gun when Tim manages to crane his neck to look up, the other gripping the back of tim’s uniform and careening down the hall with him. They round a corner after three shots, shooting through a sheet of clear plastic into a wing thats clearly under construction.

“Don’t let him—don’t let him touch you,” tim manages to wheeze, still trying ot get his feet under him, but Jason’s going too fast for him to get his legs moving right.

“That’s the idea!” Jason shouts back, firing off two more shots and letting out a strangled noise of distress as Bane comes barreling around the corner after them.

[peachdues]

PHANTASMAGORIA: THE CUT SCENES

Now that Phantasmagoria: Part III has been out for a few days, I thought I would share some of the cut scenes, as well as some of the deviations from the original draft/outline of Phantasmagoria as a whole for anyone who is interested or wants to see a bit into my writing progress!

Spoiler: if you thought the final version couldn't get any angstier, you would be incorrect lol. Everything is under the cut! NSFW warning, light TW.

CUT SCENES -- NOT INCLUDED IN FINAL DRAFT BUT WRITTEN

Part III opened post-kitchen hate-fuck from Sanemi's POV where he broke down in his room. Flashback montage of Y/N and Sanemi throughout the years, happy, smiling, and the best of friends. Scenes included Sanemi piggy-backing Y/N when they were small children, a scene when they were teens and she fell asleep with her head on his shoulder, etc. Cut back to present and he thinks about how far they've fallen.

Sanemi flashback to the night he and Y/N reunited at the club; Sanemi tries not to think about how much it stings that Y/N hugged Kyo but barely greeted him. Hearing "Sanemi," and not "Nemi," stung a lot more than he thought it would. Reminisces about how he always used to pretend to be annoyed by her hugs, but he secretly coveted them and would always try to find ways to prolong them.

More of Sanemi's thoughts/feelings after he and Y/N started sleeping together + his panic at the idea that she might also die and he will have lost yet another person he loves

Sanemi's inner monologe where he decides he will be whatever she wants him to be (after they dance in Part I) -- even if that means he's nothing more to her than a warm body to fuck (callback to Part 2 when she tells him that's how he sees her)

Longer fight between Y/N and Sanemi over the first night issue

During the makeup/makeout in Part III, Y/N and Sanemi 69 and try to see who can get the other to finish first. Sanemi wins.

Convo snippet: "You don't know me," "Yes, I do. I might be the only person who really does; who sees every part of you."

ORIGINAL DRAFT -- SCENES IN FINAL VERSION CHANGED

Sanemi originally found out that Y/N's mom was sick before she died and would go visit her to keep her company

Mitsuri, not Shinobu, OD'ed -- Mitsuri and Obanai didn't end up together so she went on a bender during the lake weekend

The Douma scene was a lot more explicit (form Y/N's POV) and a lot worse. Douma had her naked and he was taking photos to send around while she cried. Sanemi, not Akaza, was the one to find them, and he beats Douma so bad he almost kills him. Y/N struggles between wanting to cling to Sanemi for comfort as he carries her out of there, and wanting to keep herself distanced because she swore she would not let him in. Scene was inspired by Ptolemea by Ethel Cain (song was later used to inspire the scene where she has a panic attack while Sanemi brings up her mother)

After the main confrontation between the two in the kitchen, Y/N was going to blow Sanemi right then and there (instead of them taking time to think/process)

[riality-check]

God your stubborn, bitter, isolated Academy-era Viktor is so so good. Your descriptions of pain are so vivid, and I think you really captured the specific struggle of being a poor kid in an environment made for rich kids and how so much of it is unforgiving standards you impose on yourself because you know you won't get a second chance if you fuck up.

There's a concept in disability rights activism called dignity of risk, which is the idea that a disabled person should have the right to choose what to do with their own body, even if it includes a risk of harm that's more severe than an able-bodied person would face. I think about this a lot with Viktor, because I tend to imagine him constantly being right on that line between a healthy amount of "fuck you, I decide what I can and can't do" toward people infantilizing him, and tipping over into self-sabotage because he's frustrated with his own limitations and pushes himself too hard. I think you capture that incredibly well.

I hope you will put all these snippets on ao3 when you're done writing them so I can come gush properly in the comments!

Hi anon!! I'm really glad the imagery is landing; I find that I struggle with description more than I do dialogue, so I always worry about how it reads. I went on more about it in this post, but that element of Viktor's struggle is drawn largely from my own. My personal standards are even higher than what my uni expects from me because I know that I cannot fuck things up.

I'm familiar with dignity of risk, and I think it's such an elegant framework. I agree with you that he's largely toeing that line, and when I finally get around to drafting a Jayvik fic idea I've had stewing for a bit, I'll definitely be exploring it more.

The whole thing will absolutely be going on my ao3 when I finish it! I find that posting to tumblr in sections keeps my motivation up, and I'll post to ao3 all at once when it's all done. Chances are, I'm going to ping everyone who has left a comment on the series in that post so that they can see it, even if they've missed some of the installments. (Speaking of, they're all linked here.) I look forward to your comment once I finally get it all together! :D

[peachyqueenly]

Black Pearl Cookie and BPD

I think folks should discuss how we now have another character heavily coded to have BPD in Black Pearl Cookie, so that's exactly what my (diagnosed) self is gonna do--

BPD, Borderline personality disorder, is defined as a mental illness that significantly impacts a person’s emotional regulation, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Such a deregulation results in increased impulsivity, poor self-esteem/sense of self, and difficulty in relationships with others.

While there is no defined cause for the disorder, most experts generally agree it comes from environmental factors. In particular long term exposure to stress/danger as a child and abuse (particular CSA).

The best way to go through it imo is to go through some general criteria that often goes into the condition... and how it can apply to White/Black Pearl both before she absorbed the tear and after.

1. Unstable or changing relationships

Her feelings on others often go through shifts depending on her mood and state of mind; even as White Pearl, she couldn't bring herself to hurt or kill Lord Oyster even after how betrayed she felt. She wanted to hate him, but she couldn't separate the fact he hurt her from the fact she loved him. Her unstable relationships can also be seen in her sisters and the complicated relationship she had with them that only got more complicated when she became Black Pearl.

An example of this I'd provide is this-- Crimson Coral is right this situation is far more complicated than White Pearl thinks. But her attachment (more on that later) to Lord Oyster and complicated relationship both with him and her sisters led to... problems.

2. Unstable self-image, including struggles with sense of self and identity

We saw this in her emotions during Duskgloom, but this scene just makes it even more blatant in how she has a sense of disassociation and depersonalization-- she struggles to see White Pearl as herself.

Many people with, especially those whose BPD can be traced back to childhood PTSD/trauma (like myself) often experience this sensation of seeing pictures of themselves as kids and not recognizing it as themselves. It's not quite like DID, but there is some overlap if that helps.

3. Anger regulation problems, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights

This one goes without saying. Black Pearl finds herself sinking ships... I wouldn't even say just for fun. As we see in the New Years snippet of her that it's not even fun for her.

She feels compelled to act out the way she does as its the only way she feels she can let out these feelings. It is not justified, but it's not her killing people for fun. We also see it in the scene with this very CG where her emotions shift HARD and suddenly with Caviar.

4. Frequent mood swings

Not much explanation here, as it kinda goes hand in hand with the above notes on her anger issues. And how she shifted in tone with Caviar quickly when she got triggered by his poking at her past.

5. Impulsive behaviors

Also kinda already explained; in her sinking stuff not being for fun, this kinda goes into it as its more of an impulsive habit she does to stave off her feelings and hurt.

Five traits is enough to get a diagnosis amongst other things, but I would argue from personal experience she also shows traits of stress-related paranoia (her interaction with Caviar), and deep down a consistent and constant feelings of sadness or worthlessness.

One of the more popular things discussed about BPD online is the idea of having a favorite person; its often an individual experience (as how a lot of ppl describe the feeling doesn't match my experience, but I know I have a FP), but I would argue that White Pearl developedthis relationship with Lord Oyster. It was a quick, sudden, and arguably irrational attachment that led to her placing her entire faith and identity into him (symbolized by her giving him the pearl). And when you're hurt by your fp... well, its. Complicated.

You want to see them suffer; disappear. Or... thats how it often is depicted. I know for me that it takes a lot for my feelings to reach this point. Instead, I struggle to truly accept I've been hurt and instead ignore the feeling/act out in other ways.

Instead of switching from idolization to devaluing, she just. Chose to ignore it. She couldn't bring herself to hurt or hate him, and so she forced him to never return. And stewed in maladaptive coping mechanisms at the bottom of the sea...

Black Pearl's association with key parts of BPD is an important part of her character, and one I'm glad to discuss with others. I hope you found this thread nice, and if you'd like to add anything please feel free!!!